Finding Grace

I will never forget the day I lost it, and ironically began the journey to find myself. I stood there screaming at my daughter, because she wouldn’t get in the car so we could go to school, and I to work. I was angry, furious even and lashed out at my child, who just wouldn’t listen. She was making me late for work, and at the moment was all I cared about. later, we would learn she has ADHD inattentive type and struggles to focus and follow directions.

I screamed, and I spanked her. I am not proud of that moment, it was like I turned into a two-headed monster who was selfish and only cared about herself. I was lost! Tears streaming down my face, the entire drive to school and then work, I asked God to please help me. Why was I like this? When did I become so lost?

” Train a child up the way he should go , and he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6). While I didn’t grow up in a christ centered home, my parents did send us to church. I used to resent the fact that they rarely joined us at church, but now I am so thankful. Saved at ten years old, I have believed in God for most of my life, but like many christians who fail to nourish their faith, I lost my way. Had my parents not sent us to church, I may not have the love, hope and faith that I have today.

God told me that day, go to church, you have lost me, and sadly I didn’t listen right away. It was the starting point for the realization of the need for change. It was some time later in  a moment of yelling at my husband over the phone about reasons I can’t even remember, that we decided together we needed something different. We needed a change. I desperately asked him, ” What do we need to do?” when he said in his quiet mannerism.. ” Go to church.”, it was time. God had not only been working on me, but on him as well.  We were lost, Satan was destroying our peace and we needed to grow closer to God.

We have since found a church home, and are working to create a Christ centered home. These days, while I have my moments, I am more patient and work towards livening a more grace-filled life. God has blessed our home beyond measure. Join me as I walk this journey of growing in faith and work towards becoming a grace filled mom, wife and daughter of God!